screaming infidelities..

this post is being co-brought to you by Charles Barkley's golf swing and "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon"..

i ended up being offered that position at my work that i mentioned a couple posts ago.. consequently, i may not be able to blog as often as i'd like.. i'll still do it as much as i'm able to though.. be patient!!

Text of the Week: "Thank you for serving in Vietnam but you still need to drive the speed limit and use your blinker".. from my roommate, Mike..

another roommate, Robert, likes to inform me every morning about the events of "Little House on the Prairie".. here are some i remember: Pa appears that he wants to nail the hot maid but doesn't, someone had typhoid like back on "Oregon Trail", some bad guys came into town and were stealing lumber and the daughter needed help with her math homework.. he gets pretty fired up about it and it's entertaining..

another roommate, Josh, just walked into my room and sang "How Do I Live Without You" by Whitney Houston to me..

Robert and i spent last weekend in Minneapolis at the home of an ex-roommate.. here are a few highlights:

- at a Japanese restaurant/bar (Moto i?) a 20-something year old girl was making out with a 40-something year old man.. two other young females were sitting with an older man at another table.. i'm guessing money was exchanged between a number of them throughout the night, or else i didn't really understand what was happening..

- at Stella's, we encountered a reunion of my high school.. it felt like the Keller at the Red Carpet, only classier.

- a bar called William's serves hot dogs in the corner of the bar.. probably the smartest idea i've ever heard.. i demolished two..

- when we got home on Friday night, we ordered pizza at 3 a.m. and played Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock with the microphone, drums and guitar.. Robert is the worst drummer in history and i sound almost exactly like Gwen Stefani when i'm drunk..

- we walked to breakfast the next morning and i had 3 of the world's most unbelievable pancakes.. the crowd was diverse and entertaining to watch.. also, the hand dryer in the bathroom was powered by a jet engine.. there was also a gentleman playing live music over the loud speaker who Robert described as a "young Hank Williams".. he's funny when we're still drunk in the morning..

- went back to ex-roommates place, took a nap and watched the NCAA tournament, an emphasis on the napping part.. needed to recharge for the night..

- we ate at a place called Buster's and they served all kinda of exotic beers.. i tried something called "Old Speckled Hen" and immediately regretted it.. i'll be sticking to American beer, thank you very much.. also, the waitress spilled her tray full of beverages "for the first time since her first day serving".. always comical..

- went to the apartment of a few guys we went to high school with and played drinking games.. some idiot kept giving me drinks and looking at me weird, so i felt good when i had the opportunity to give 10 drinks and threw my card at him.. i also felt good when we went to the bar at 11:00 and he was passed out.. but first, a story about a hot girl.. they live next to a few girls, one of which came over unannounced to see what was going on.. she immediately sat down on one of our friends laps, who is married and she's never met before.. she finally asked him if he was dating any of the girls in the room and he said "no, my wife is in San Diego".. classic.. she apologized and walked over to me and introduced herself.. then she said she liked my hat (i was wearing my cab driver hat) and asked if i was into fashion.. i said no, that i just liked dressing good.. she said i looked cute, then walked back to her apartment.. eventually, one of the guys who lived there went over to their apartment and came back saying that she was talking about one of the guys.. so a couple more people went over to do research.. Robert asked if she was talking about the married guy, and she said something like "oh yeah, i like him", so he came back and said it was him.. i was bummed out.. but then the guy who originally had gone over there said that wasn't true because he had asked her if it was the guy who's lap she sat on, and she said "no, he was sitting on the couch".. I WAS SITTING ON THE COUCH!! :) anyway, the story doesn't end with her and i doing sex things because her and her roommates went downtown and our crew went into uptown.. so close, huh?

- at Stella's again, some girl runs by, steals my hat and puts one of those rabbit peeps in there and gives it back.. i didn't really understand it, maybe it was some sort of "magic trick?"

- we end the night and weekend with another round of pizza and Guitar Hero.. very enjoyable time.. Robert nearly kills us on the ride home because my sleeping bag was "in his blind spot"..


went out in St. Joe last night, with times being approximate but events being true and clouded with alcohol, here's the running diary:

9:00 p.m.: arrive at the La Playette, immediately take Jag Bomb and picture..

9:01 p.m.: notice a hot blonde girl that i'm fairly sure i went to college with.. Ryan, the friend i'm with, calls dibs on her.. i abide by the "bro's before ho's" rule and make her off limits, like it was my decision..

9:10 p.m.: the Wild are winning 1 to 0.. cool..

9:15 p.m.: decide that my parking spot in front of the pizza place across the street is questionable at best so i move my car behind the bar to avoid drunks peeing in my gas tank and breaking the windows to sleep in my back seat..

9:16 p.m.: Wild are losing 2 to 1.. cool.. also, soccer is on tv so i keep my eyes peeled for fans shooting players.. a player gets injured and the time still runs.. i'll never understand that..

9:20 p.m.: Water Moccasin shots.. two shots in 20 minutes.. decide that i'm probably not driving anywhere tonight..

9:30 p.m.: Ryan takes over the juke box for the next 12 songs.. the old hillbillies in the bar aren't fond of the selection.. we make fun of their cowboy hats with each other..

9:45 to 10:45 p.m.: we play pool and drink alcohol and discuss girl situations.. we also take shots of Rumpleminz (the cute bartender girls favorite shot).. we tell her it's her turn to shoot on the pool table and she sinks a difficult shot to win the game for me, despite the fact that she scratched.. we were playing Mexican Indoor rules..

10:45 to 11:00 p.m.: the bartender girl tells us her roommate said she wasn't a good match for the guy she is kinda seeing because "his last girlfriend was hot".. girls are awesome.. also, she said her perfect guy would be Seth from "The O.C.".. i casually point out that my sister says my personality is exactly like his, although i've never watched the show to see if that's accurate.. i'll trust her, she knows me fairly well..

11:05 p.m.: shots of tequila.. i mistakenly mention that i don't think i've ever had a shot of tequila, so Ryan's shot becomes mine.. to avoid an uncomfortable moment, i lick the salt off cute bartender girl and she licks the salt off Ryan.. it burned on the way down..

11:10 p.m.: Ryan and i get caught looking at this girl who's wearing her shirt tied just below her breasts and with a giant tramp stamp tattoo on her lower back.. apparently some guy is there with her and calls us out on it, so we go over to him to diffuse the situation.. we find out he's 29 years old and his plan is to retire in 10 years and open a fraternity? after telling the slutty dressed girl that her "pants would look better on his floor" (original), she flicks him off but eventually makes out with him..

11:25 p.m.: one of Ryan's college buddies proudly tells us he's cheated on every girlfriend he's ever had until his current fiancee.. that'll probably last..

11:35 p.m.: another guy tells us a story about the previous night, where he went to sleep drunk and woke up fingering his fiancee.. then the next thing he remembers was having sex with her.. doesn't remember how it started.. those are fun stories..

11:45 p.m.: Ryan and i are suddenly in the middle of three girls that i haven't seen yet.. one was super hot but clearly high-maintenance and full of herself.. i decide i want to make out with the girl on my right.. i go do research to find out her name..

11:48 p.m.: one of Ryan's buddies says he knows her but doesn't know her name.. but he'll find out for me.. he's in the middle of a conversation with a girl so i decide not to hold my breath..

12:00 a.m.: tequila shot hits me..

12:03 a.m.: wow..

12:05 a.m.: yikes.. (didn't puke, streak is still alive)..

12:10 a.m.: end up at another bar, absolutely no recollection of walking there..

12:15 a.m.: Ryan is chatting up a super hot blonde girl who has a boyfriend.. she tells him naughty things.. i make pact with myself to start hitting the gym more religiously so girls say naughty things to me..

12:30 a.m.: apparently the tradition at this bar is, at the end of the night when they play "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond, everyone stands in a circle and the guys pull their pants down and stand in their boxers? seems like a good idea..

12:45 a.m.: i have no idea..

1:00 a.m.: get ushered to the door, apparently this is the one city in America where the bars still close at 1:00.. i'm actually not upset because i can't see anymore..

1:10 a.m.: Ryan and i end up at the home of the hot girl who has a boyfriend and wants Ryan, and another hot girl.. promising..

1:15 a.m.: seems like a good time to change a light bulb, so i climb the chair and get to work.. the other hot girl thinks it's necessary to hold me by touching my stomach the entire time.. meanwhile, i'm fighting the cover of the light bulb until it explodes in my hand, shooting glass everywhere except in my eyes..

1:20 a.m.: girl lost her phone, walks back to the bar to get it.. Ryan and i also go.. maybe other people too?

1:35 a.m.: get back to their place, super hot girl's boyfriend is there and another dude who we didn't know.. hot girl and her boyfriend go into the bathroom and fight for an hour, not the smartest place to hold that discussion with people who need to pee every 11 minutes..

1:50 a.m.: look outside door, see headlights parked down street.. go back upstairs for a minute.. come back down, headlights are gone.. pee..

2:00 a.m.: girl that was touching my stomach went into her room with random dude that showed up.. hear sex noises.. not sure if they're coming from the bathroom or bedroom.. decide not to investigate..

2:10 a.m.: pee outside again.. right as i close the door to go back inside, a police truck drives by.. congratulate myself for narrowly avoiding a "urinating in public" citation..

2:25 a.m.: some other guy enters the place and says "hey babe, let me in".. door opens, probably the bedroom of the girl who's housing the random dude.. she surprised to see him, thinking he's outside, not outside her bedroom.. i hope for a fistfight.. doesn't happen..

2:30 a.m.: Ryan snoring on other couch.. contemplate throwing shoe at him to shut him up..

2:35 a.m.: hot girl exits the bathroom, makes eye contact with me and giggles.. not sure what that means..

2:40 a.m.: fall asleep with shoes on..

6:30 a.m.: wake up, do the "where the fuck am i?" look for 10 seconds.. check pockets for everything i should have.. check phone for embarrassing drunk texts.. satisfied, i walk to my car and drive to my parents house, singing Neil Sedaka songs..

6:40 a.m.: my mom is going for a walk and i pass her on the road.. our sleep schedules are so opposite, i wonder if i'm adopted..

6:43 a.m.: Mom walks in from her walk.. i hug her cause she has chili in the crock pot.. luckily my sister is at her boyfriends so i have a bed to sleep in.. tell Mom to wake me up for lunch.. wonder if i'm still legally drunk..

beautiful wreck..

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counting to 100..

this post is being co-brought to you by being so excited to eat something hot that you burn the roof of your mouth and spend the next three days licking dead skin off it and the real names of Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior being Terry and Jim, respectively..

there is a semi-decent possibility of me getting a lead position at my job, which consequently could lead to fewer blogs.. don't hold your breath, but i apologize in advance if it happens..

you know you're getting old when you're invited to play cards and say "actually, i think we're going bowling tonight".. next up, shuffleboard and "Wheel of Fortune" nights..

i never cease to be amazed by the number of chances some people give others to decide if they want to be together.. i know you can't help who you like but if you've given someone 3 or 4 chances to make up their mind, maybe it's time to let them go.. it happens so often and i find it comical every time.. say you're actually successful and they decide they "want to be with you".. would you ever be able to trust that's the case? or maybe they "want to be with you" until someone better comes along, and they're using you until then.. some people just aren't wired to be with one person.. figure it out, the sooner you do, the sooner you can move on to something and someone you know is real..

every time i go to the gym in the morning, i feel so awesome afterwards.. the problem is, i rarely make it out of my bed.. it's so hard, especially in the winter.. my alarm will go off, i'll throw the covers back and be hit immediately by what feels like 7 degrees, say "fuck that" and go back to sleep.. one of these days i'll find the motivation to get up every day and go, apparently self-motivation isn't enough.. the group of grandmothers that are there weekday mornings don't help matters either..

girls, if you walk away from a guy, he looks at your butt.. you could be naked, wearing underwear or wearing snowpants, it doesn't matter.. keep this in mind..

one of the more entertaining parts of drinking for me is going through my phone the next day to see who and what i texted.. for one, texting with my new phone while drunk is pretty much impossible.. you need infant fingers to hit the correct letter.. "wow, that's an interesting way to spell 'drinking in the hot tub'".. i think i've agreed to trips to Vegas and to father children recently, too.. neither will happen soon, God willing..

reading a magazine last night (maybe Cosmo, maybe not), i came across a story where a woman was attacked while she was hiking, and her attacker demanded the PIN numbers to her bank accounts.. when she didn't give them to him, he raped her and then beat her to death.. needless to say, i sent an e-mail first thing this morning to my sister who runs outside a lot, and told her she should either get a whistle or pepper spray to bring with her.. there's a small chance of anything happening but it does happen and those things can be life savers.. i know other runners read this and probably know the risks of running outside, especially alone or near dark.. just some ideas to help keep you safe..

know what else Cosmo taught me? if i'm having my period but don't have any tampons handy, i can wrap several sheets of toilet paper around my panties until i find suitable protection.. but i should never put toilet paper in my vagina cause it can easily flake off inside me and cause an infection.. also, you can tell what kind of boyfriend or lover a guy will be by the way he sleeps.. and research shows women don't like when their husbands/boyfriends have sex with other women..

i don't remember how old i was but when i was little, i wanted to join the local hockey team.. i convinced my mom to bring me into town to where the sign-up was and check it out.. turns out hockey is much more expensive than other sports.. we found out it cost roughly $3 million for everything (entry fee, pads, a stick, skates, life insurance, dentures).. even at this point, i was convinced she'd let me.. we got back into the car and she said "honey, i'm sorry but i can't afford that".. me being the terrible son that i am, yelled at her the entire way home, convince that other mom's loved their sons more.. looking back at it now it's ridiculous because there's no way i would have played hockey rather than basketball, since those skills led me to a successful back-up guard role on our team.. dammit, i could have been Wayne Gretzky, only American and, you know, not as bad..

Ran a 6K on Saturday wearing The World's Thinnest Gloves by Frostbite.. not an enjoyable experience..

Saturday night, i watched the movie "The Strangers" for the first time with a roommate and his girlfriend.. before the movie started, i carefully debated where i would sit so they "couldn't get me".. the love seat thing we have wasn't an option because they had the entire kitchen, plus they could come up the stairs.. Roommate and Gal were on the big couch because that's the safest place and they only worry about themselves.. my last option was the couch by the window.. if you've seen "The Strangers", you know window seats aren't the most desirable place to have.. anyway, i bravely stacked the top of the couch with pillows to block the window (everyone knows people wearing masks can't survive pillows) and brought my body pillow out from my room, which i clutched like a lumberjack.. Roommate had seen the movie twice before so he declared he would be watching me the entire movie.. before we started, i sent this text to my sister:

me: "watching 'The Strangers' for the first time"..
her: "you won't sleep tonight"..

then, when it was over:

her: "did you like it?"..
me: "fuck that shit"..


i like when people who don't know a thing about sports try talking to me about sports.. "the Vikings really need to get a running back this off-season".. "oh.. ever hear of Adrian Peterson? he's pretty good, if you like strong, fast running backs"..

this is from a couple years ago but it proves how naive i am when it comes to girls.. i'll leave out names because the people who know the situation know who i'm talking about.. we had a party at our house for the birthday of an ex-roommate.. he and i dressed seductively that night, wearing button-up shirts and ties, and i was rocking my famous "cab driver" hat.. one of my current roommates had a different girlfriend at the time, she came over and brought one of her friends, whom i'd never met before.. i thought she was kinda cute so when we played "tippy cup", i stood by her.. about halfway through the game or so, she turned to me and said "i like your hat", with a fairly seductive smile.. it was at that point that i knew i'd end up making out with her.. i didn't know i'd do it on camera.. eventually she took my hat, wore it for a while until i asked if i could have it back.. she said something to the effect of "what are you going to give me?".. oh boy.. yet another roommate is manning a video camera to capture all the crazy events of the birthday party, so he suggests making out on camera for 10 seconds.. obviously i agree, and less obviously, she does too.. it was another guys job to count to 10 out loud, which he did rather slowly and i haven't paid to this day.. evidently, round 1 wasn't enough because the camera caught her ambush me again almost immediately, and that's how most of the rest of the night went..

she stayed in my room that night and (seriously) nothing happened.. the next morning, i got an awkward "see ya later" and she left.. i thought that's how it would end because neither of us had each others number and i was fine with that.. not something i usually do but not something i'm above, either.. apparently she had the number of my roommate because almost immediately after she left, he got a text that told him to give me her number and that he should give her mine.. she was cool, so i did.. we ended up going to a movie that night, and she was totally all into me.. i was finally the one who was playing it cool and not rushing stuff, but i got to the point where i really liked her.. we'd hang out a few nights a week and spend the night at each others place.. then, a couple months later, i get a "i need to talk to you" text.. so obviously i think she's pregnant and i start flipping out, even though she was on the pill and i used protection every time.. that doesn't matter in a guys head when you hear "i need to talk to you".. she wanted to wait until the next day to talk but knowing i wouldn't sleep if i didn't know what was going on, i called her.. she gave me the "don't know if i want a relationship" speech, which sucked because i liked her but was better than child support, and she said she still wanted to hang out.. shortly thereafter, she was at our house and we were watching TV in the living room, on separate couches and she was texting almost the entire time.. this was weird to me, so when she said she was going to go home, i was almost glad..

the next day (this is early December), i get home from work and my roommate almost immediately tells me he has to talk to me.. we go into my bedroom and shut the door.. evidently, the person she was texting the night before was him.. and what she was texting was that she was starting to think she had feelings for him.. that sucked a lot for me to hear, especially since she had just told me she "didn't know if she wanted a relationship".. i thanked him for being a good friend (he was single and easily could have went behind my back, i know others who probably would do that).. then i texted her to confront her.. i ended up going to her place and having a big talk which cleared up nothing and also did nothing to move my stomach anywhere below my Adam's apple.. obviously, things between us changed immediately and we talked less and less.. then she apologized and said she didn't mean what she said.. then i bought her Christmas gifts.. then i stood barefoot outside my brothers house on Christmas night talking to her for 45 minutes because she called and that's the only place i got service (thanks Sprint).. then, on her birthday in early February, i gave her the quilt i had my mom start making back in November because i thought things were going well and it's hard to stop making a quilt once you've started.. the lesson, as always: i'm an idiot when it comes to girls.. eventually we stopped talking completely except for the occasional Facebook thing, and she randomly texted me recently because she missed me and the roommates.. but this goes back to the "giving someone so many chances" thing.. i had been informed that she "didn't want a relationship" and "had feelings for" one of my best friends and roommates, and three weeks later i gave her gifts for Christmas and stood outside barefoot for nearly an hour talking to her on the phone.. looking back it's really dumb, but that's what i do when i like a girl, i guess..


Men's Health tips of the week

Sexy Things Women Have Told Men's Health Readers

1. "Take off your clothes and turn on the music."

2. Before she left for an extended trip abroad: "Don't worry. You know you own it."

3. "Sit back, close your eyes, and let me do everything."

4. "Let's go get some barbecue and get busy."

5. "Do you want to bring your beer with you in case you lose any fluids?"

6. "If I don't kiss you before the night is over, I'll consider my year a failure."

7. Written on a card that came with flowers she sent him: "This is for the great sex we're going to have tonight."

8. "I would feel so safe lying beneath you."

9. "If you ever discuss your girlfriend problems with another woman, you will end up sleeping with her. So . . . tell me about your girlfriend problems."

10. "Is your mustache functional, or is it purely for decoration?"

11. "You're my daddy."

12. She pointed to her eye, then made a circle with her finger and thumb, stuck her other forefinger through it, and pointed at him.

13. "I'm going to get naked now. Any questions?"

14. "Show me everything you know."

15. "I'm feeling dirty. I think I'll take a shower."

16. "The sound of your voice makes my nipples hard."

17. "I'll make your bed spin."

18. Bursting into tears just after sex: "I just love you so much!"

19. "Spank me now!"

20. "How the hell did you do that?"

21. "You can have me now or have me later, but you are going to have me."

22. On the freeway: "Have you ever gotten head at 100 miles an hour?"

23. "Give it to me, baby, and give them a good show."

24. "It hurts, but I love it when you do it."


Make Her Fantasies Come True

By: Nicole Beland

Most women aren't very good at asking for what they want, especially in the beginning of a relationship. And by "beginning," I mean anywhere from the first night to the first 2 years. For one thing, we're hopelessly romantic. We imagine that the right guy will instinctively grant us every sexual favor we've ever fantasized about, without our having to say anything. Ridiculous, sure, but a girl can dream.

Also—trust me here—we dread being perceived as high maintenance. We see how put out you guys are by the idea of phoning us once a day or escorting us to a cousin's wedding. So asking for 45 uninterrupted minutes of cunnilingus seems outrageous.

The good news is that we are fantasizing about sex. (Wow—you, too?) And we will get around to requesting our favors just as soon as we feel comfortable and confident enough. If your partner isn't there yet, let me give you an idea of what those favors might be—maybe you can coax them out of her. Speaking on behalf of my gender, I wish you'd . . .

1. Shower before bed.
Seeing you emerge from a steamy bathroom with droplets of water clinging to your biceps makes me want to dry you off with my tongue. That includes all those soft, warm, sensitive places—but only when they're Zestfully clean.

2. Talk dirtier.
Much dirtier. Trot out a variety of nasty words one night, and if I grunt and moan in agreement, kick it up a notch. When I respond with total silence, dial it back down.

3. Mow the lawn in jeans and no shirt so I can play desperate housewife from the window.
Then come inside smelling of fresh-cut grass, sweat, and pheromones, and make love to me on the dining-room table.

4. Ask me to perform yoga poses naked.
I've been preparing for it every week while bent over and staring through my legs at the mirror on the yoga-studio wall. This is not a performance I'll volunteer for. I need a little encouragement, goading even, but I will give in. And you'll especially like the views when I'm in camel pose and standing bow.

5. Slide your hand up my skirt when you're following me upstairs.

6. Confess your latest sexual fantasy.
But say that you did this with/to me in a dream. That'll allow me to maintain the illusion that it isn't something you used to do with an ex-hookup, or an idea you picked up from porn. I might not agree to reenact it, but hearing about it will make me feel like your naughty little confidante, which is very hot. Bonus: It'll give me the courage to tell you mine.

7. Read up on sex.
There are books on boinking that are worth the embarrassment of buying them. Like Ian Kerner's She Comes First, for example. It's a guide to giving oral sex so well that your partner will insist on cooking you blueberry pancakes the next morning. Yes, you're an amazing lover already, but Kerner has a Ph.D. for a reason.

8. Ambush me in the shower and direct a strong stream of warm water precisely at my clitoris. Adjust your aim even as I giggle and squirm around the tub. I've done this by myself, plenty of times, but having you do it to me is way sexier and a hundred times more fun.

9. Make your move the second we walk in the door.
Or while we're still in the hallway. I don't know what, if anything, happened between Benicio Del Toro and Scarlett Johansson in that elevator, but if Del Toro acted as if having sex with her right then and there was the only reason he was put on this planet, I could understand if she obliged. When a guy lusts after me so urgently that he can't even wait the 90 seconds it takes to get to the bed, it makes me feel like a movie star.

10. Ask to take black-and-white photos of me naked.
I want you to, but I'm not so cocky as to suggest that my body could be a work of art. That's why I need you to do it for me. Bring it up after we've had sex. Tell me that the curve of my hips needs to be immortalized. Then, one rainy Saturday night, produce a bottle of wine and a camera.

11. Treat sex like a buffet.
Take breaks during intercourse to go back for appetizers. Too often, making out, manual stimulation, and breast caressing get cast aside when the more serious stuff starts. But without generous amounts of all three from start to finish, the female orgasm is infinitely harder to achieve.

12. Sit back on your heels from the missionary position and caress my legs slowly, from ankle to thigh. When you take the time to stroke my body thoughtfully during sex, it lets me know that you're savoring the experience as something meaningful to you.

13. Buy more of those snug, gray boxers with the buttons on the crotch. I want to work them open with my teeth.

14. Kiss me in front of your friends or coworkers and slip me the tiniest bit of tongue. They'll think we have a smokin' sex life. Other women will wish they had a guy like you. That will make me feel very lucky, and very horny.

15. Get me drunk on champagne, prop me up on the hood of your car, and eat me like an apple.

16. Reward me for folding your T-shirts and cleaning the drain by making one long night of sex all about me. Light a candle. Rub massage oil on my body, back and front, shoulders to toes. Next, bring me close to orgasm using just your hands. Then your tongue. Then pull me on top so I can orchestrate the finale myself.

17. Watch me shave my legs.
Offer to help me shave other places.

18. Maneuver me into 69 at least once a month. Sometimes with me on top, sometimes you. Sometimes on our sides. And, at least once in our lives—when you've been lifting and I'm at my lightest weight—standing up with my thighs on top of your shoulders.


Lyrics of the Week

"Awake" by Dashboard Confessional

Awake, through the years it takes to see you
'Til I almost lose my mind
'Cause I'll never be alright
And I'm sorry you had to see this
But I'm such a mess
And I never could forget

I'm scared I'll miss the way we use to talk
And if its all forever lost dont wanna know
I'm scared that you're the one that got away
And i want you here with me
Tonight, will never come

I'm scared I'll miss the way we use to talk
And if its all forever lost dont wanna know
I'm scared that you're the one that got away
And i want you here with me
Tonight, will never come


"You Had Me From Hello" by Kenny Chesney

One word, that's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head.
Your smile, just captured me
And you were in my future as far as I could see
And I don't know how it happened, but it happened still
You asked me if I love you, if I always will

Well you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes, you won me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"

Inside, I built a wall
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't gonna love again
The last time was the last time I let someone in

But you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes, you won me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"

That's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head
You had me from "Hello"
You had me from "Hello"
Girl I've loved you from "Hello"


"There's Something Sexy About The Rain" by Kenny Chesney

There's something sexy about the rain
She said as it came pouring down
It feels like kisses on my skin
She spread her arms and spun around
In a summer island storm
In a field of sugarcane
She taught me how and showed me why

There's something sexy about the rain
And sometimes it rained all night
And everything she did was perfect
And every way we were was right
We loved like there was no tomorrow
Then suddenly tomorrow came
And it was raining at the airport
And kept on raining on the plane

She only loved me for a season
But my heart won't ever be the same
Even now her love's the reason

There's something sexy about the rain
And sometimes when it's pouring down
I feel her kisses on my skin
I spread my arms and spin around
And let that summer island storm
Hit me like a hurricane
It's like she's right here whispering
There's something sexy about the rain

She followed me back to the city
In a picture in my mind
She's still young and she's still pretty
And even after all this time

There's something sexy about the rain
She said as it came pouring down
It feels like kisses on my skin
She spread her arms and spun around
In a summer island storm
In a field, in a field of sugarcane
She taught me how and showed me why
There's something sexy about the rain

She taught me how and she's still why
There's something sexy about the rain
Something sexy about the rain
Feels like kisses on my skin
In a summer island storm
Something sexy


"Every Once In A While" by Blackhawk

When the moon is bright
On a Saturday night
There's a thousand stars in the sky
On a winding road her memory flows
She'll face the fact
She wants to go back

She opens her heart to an old memory
She closes her eyes and she smiles
Just ask her if she ever still
Thinks about me
She'll say "Every once in a while,
Every once in a while"

She tries to forget
But she hasn't yet
Not a single day goes by
That feeling again reminds of when
I held her tight, it felt so right

She opens her heart to an old memory
She closes her eyes and she smiles
Just ask her if she ever still
Thinks about me
She'll say "Every once in a while,
Every once in a while"

And every once in a while
She calls my name out loud
And when she thinks about us
She'll face the fact
She wants to go back

She opens her heart to an old memory
She closes her eyes and she smiles
Just ask her if she ever still
Thinks about me
She'll say "Every once in a while,
Every once in a while"

Every once in a while


"I Miss You" by Incubus

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.


"So Contagious" by Acceptance

Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously


"Hold Me Down" by Motion City Soundtrack

I found a letter that said:
"I'm sorry that you were asleep when I wrote these words down,"
You'd think I'd ought to be used to that by now.
Save for a few of those late night episodes,
Missed opportunities, and "I don't cares,"
There's not a lot that I feel obliged to share or talk about.

I'll have my brother stop by this Saturday to pick up my things,
Just make sure you're not there.
This may sound bad, and don't take it the wrong way..
I love you, however,
You hold me down

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
How will I break the news to you?

Cancel our dinner with Max and Coraline,
feed Jacky's gerbil and try to stay clean.
We'll talk it over after I've had some time alone to sort it out.
You hold me down

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..
How will I break the news to you?


"White Lines and Red Lights" by Between The Trees

Late night, driving home together
and at red lights we press our lips together
and we're holding tight now
slow it down now
Let's take our time
let the moment last
until it feels right
holding back
and not getting to carried away
let the music fade

Cause you are the brightest star
And I'm in love with who you are
And you are the brightest star
And I'm lost without your love
Your love...

We are in each others arms
just like a movie scene
And as we're leaning in
the light decides to turn green
Me and you together
this is getting better
just butterflies won't do
I don't want just red lights
I want more of these nights
baby I love you

Cause you are the brightest star
And I'm in love with who you are
And you are the brightest star
And I'm lost without your love

Cause you are the brightest star
And I'm in love with you!

Me and you is what matters most
It's not the intimacy that brings me
Closer to you...

i saw her standing there..

this post is being co-brought to you by girls basketball players chest-bumping after a lay up and the 2-liter Sunkist bottle with 3 inches of chew spit under our coffee table..

this past Friday, 3 roommates plus myself went to a bar that's just a few blocks away.. we had our annual Alumni basketball tournament for our high school the next day and a few of our teammates joined us as well, along with all the girlfriends of the house.. the pitchers full of beer couldn't keep up with us and the guys were engulfed in a discussion about taxes, W2's and 1099's.. this is a topic i know nothing about, so i initiate a discussion about sex with the girls, a topic i know even less about.. i'm not sure where this conversation ended up because i got "can't remember how we got home" drunk.. i think at one time i explained that guys have a way of viewing a girls sex drive and desire for it as lower as their own, leading to some hesitancy about initiating it.. this theory was quickly debunked, however, as was the "too tired" and "i have a headache" excuses that are stereotypically linked to girls.. when we decided to leave, i started (or continued) talking about the level of attractiveness of our waitress, so one of the girls got my number from her cell phone and wrote it on the back of that worthless receipt that restaurants give you.. i think that's the sole purpose of them, actually.. much to my chagrin, i saw her grab it off the table and crumple it without even looking at it.. ugh, my life story.. to make a long story longer, we got back to our house and continued drinking, although i think i was the only one taking shots.. we reminisced about old high school basketball stories and talked trash about going into the hot tub, which led Mike to go ask his gal who had been sleeping for an hour if she wanted to go in.. she didn't.. the events of this night led me to oversleep my alarm the next morning and politely inform the opposing team that "i'm not sober right now".. half of our team's pores were leaking alcohol, which i think distracted the other team, leading to our victory.. the moral of the story: always drink heavily the night before grueling physical activity..

the Fox weather woman in Chicago is named Amy Freeze.. how cool is it that a girl named Amy Freeze is a meteorologist in the Midwest? you can't make that up, she was destined to do that.. it couldn't have worked out better if she used a fake name..

have you heard about one bride-to-be forcing her bridesmaids to sign a contract saying they wouldn't change their hair or gain any weight? the bride has since claimed it was done in good humor and meant it to be something to laugh about between the girls but who knows these days? and what happens if they fail to meet the stipulations of the contract? they lose their "friendship" with you? here's how i would deal with this situation as a male if my future-wife-to be (we'll call her "that hot girl who's on 'American Idol'", more on her later) informed me she was employing this tactic:

her: "i'm going to make my bridesmaids sign a contract"
me: "i'm breaking up with you"

i'm assuming the first question for males interviewing to be the body painter for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is: "you're gay, right?" no way they let heterosexual males close to naked girls who look like that, and then give them permission to paint on them.. also, i'm moderately attracted to the green M&M on the back cover..

i can't believe Spring Training is already starting.. pitchers and catchers reported yesterday for the Twins, and the rest of the team reports on Friday.. i can't wait to watch #86 strike out #71 in the 8th inning of meaningless games for a month..

i fell in love with Anne Marie Boskovich while watching "American Idol" auditions a few weeks ago.. when she first came in to audition, she had kind of a plain, girl-next-door look to her but you could tell she was super attractive if she played it up a bit.. the judges wouldn't let her sing, they told her to go out and sex herself up.. so she took off some stupid sweater thing she was wearing, did her hair a bit and put a little make up on.. she came back wearing a flowery skirt and a white tank top that made my pants hurt.. plus she loves country music and is from Nashville, one of the cities i most want to visit!! it's like she went on the show to get me to notice her and want to marry her.. i've always liked girls who are really attractive who know they're attractive but don't let other people know they know they're attractive.. get it?.. the greatest ever was last week when all the contestants that were moving onto the next round danced in some montage at the end of the show.. since she seems shy and timid, i wasn't expecting much out of her.. she danced so fucking hot that i forced one of my roommates to come upstairs and rewound it for him.. he wasn't as fired up about it as i was.. he'll feel differently at our wedding, i'm sure..

was told that my review of "Grey's Anatomy" was "perfect" and pretty much summed up this season.. pretty good for one episode, huh?

if i need to know the pronunciation or meaning of a word, i'll call my mom or find her at work (we share the same building).. today, that word was "superfluous".. i had no idea how to say it.. who better to go to than a woman who read 70+ books last year? that's an average of one book every five days.. she's not reading "Berenstein Bears Go To The Doctor" either..

remember Valentine's Day back in kindergarten? you had to make your own mailbox thing and decorate it in hearts and all that crap.. then on V-day, your box would fill up with cards and candy from the rest of the class.. so you'd end up with 30 boxes of those Sweetheart things that said stuff like "I Want U" or "U R Hott" or whatever.. and you'd get a Barbi card from the class fox and get all fired up because she used a heart to dot the 'i' in her name and fall in love with her.. until recess when you find out that three of your friends got the same exact card signed the same exact way.. so you'd unanimously decide she was a whore and go play Nintendo after school..

here's a serious question: are girls supposed to get guys something for Valentine's Day? a couple nights ago, one of my roommates asked the rest of the house "what did you guys get for Valentine's Day?".. they all kinda looked around in a stunned silence.. finally one of them said "you got something for Valentine's Day?".. apparently his gal had bought him four shirts.. really?? i'm with the three guys who didn't get anything, i wouldn't expect it because it's more of a girls holiday.. if you both get each other some big gift it's like Christmas all over again, making Christmas mean less and making you spend a lot more money just two months later.. do something romantic, maybe the guy gets the girl something and call it a holiday.. that's my opinion, i guess..

casual, partial nudity is always appreciated..

for the last two nights, my roommates and i have been watching old WWF wrestling movies.. it's awesome.. as a kid, i was obsessed with wrestling.. i had all the gear, the fake championship belt, the wrestling buddy, the action figures, etc.. my family lived about 4 or 5 miles from town but every few days in the summer, i would bike in to rent wrestling movies, occasionally wiping out going "no-handed".. that is, until my cousins informed me that some movies have naked girls in them and this particular movie place was fairly lackadaisical at enforcing "don't let teenage boys rent unrated movies" rule.. i've been told by my mom that when i was about 2 or 3 years old, i would ask every night "is wessling on?" and get so fired up if it was.. not sure if there was a kid cuter than me in the history of the world.. also, i remember being traumatized by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper being attacked backstage and having his leg put between a folding chair and the "bad guys" stomping on it, "breaking" his leg.. re-watching some of these videos now and it's amazing how i got that into it.. most of the moves don't even come close to looking like they hurt.. punches miss by inches and sometimes feet, not to mention the fact that 250 pound men are "punching" each other in the face and not falling down or bleeding.. but seriously, how can't you become obsessed with a sport that portrays a fat, white man in a blue and yellow suit as Akeem the "African Dream"?? exactly.. you don't see baseball players caring enough about what they do to take steroids and have their heart explode on them at age 40, do you? well, wait a few years to answer that..

if i went to high school with the Jonas Brothers, i would have made fun of them behind their back then when they got famous, i'd have told everyone that i was friends with them in high school.. this goes for all male celebrities that appear douchebaggy..

this is fun.. about a month ago, we had a pregnancy scare in the house.. with no knowledge of anything, four of us were teasing another roommate about him potentially having to move out when his girlfriend gets pregnant, only because we know his birth control method (no condom, pull out, cross fingers).. for everyone reading this under the age of 11, you don't have to (you know) in the girl for her to get pregnant.. you know that spot on a guys boxers when he's really turned on? that has sperm in it, too.. sperm + egg = whoops.. anyway, this roommate says "don't joke about that, she might be pregnant".. now we're paying attention.. "what do you mean she might be pregnant?".. "she's late and has been feeling sick lately".. "oh my god, she's pregnant!! have you picked out names? (sadly, they have?) when are you getting married? can i be the godfather?".. i think we were in such a good mood about it because it wasn't us in that situation.. even if you do everything right, for the next month you're holding your breath when you see her calling.. anyway, we've never rooted against a period so hard in our lives because he was so nonchalant about it.. he said "i really like her.. plus i'm 25, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world".. i guess, but it's at least in the top 5.. babies have to cost at least, like what, $300-$500 a year, right?? she ended up not being pregnant and we avoided having to find a hot, uncrazy chick to take his place in the house.. and for the record, i don't care if she's on the pill or whatever.. if she's willing to let you go in there unprotected, she's probably done that with other guys in the past, meaning you're essentially having with those dudes too.. better hope crossing your fingers prevents that pesky herpes thing..


Men's Health Tips of the Week

23 Ways to Be the Man She Wants

1. You can put down the weights and the protein shakes. You might want us to be perfect looking; we simply want you not to be fat.

2. Replace all of those hideous size-extra-large T-shirts with something that actually sort of fits. We think you might be a medium.

3. Never allow anyone who listens to baseball on the radio to cut your hair.

4. Purchase sheets that don't contain polyester and that are white.

5. Blue Book value isn't everything. Take the money you were going to spend putting the backseat DVD theater in your Honda and buy a nice pair of shoes.

6. We don't care what the plan is. Just have one.

7. Candles. They are so cheap and they are so effective.

8. When you give her a gift, include a card. You can spend less on the gift if you write something nice. Don't buy a card with a message in it, unless you're dating Danielle Steele.

9. She arrives home from work eager for attention. You arrive home from work eager for several beers and the Simpsons-King of the Hill hour. The moment you come home, hug her, look into her eyes, and say that you're happy to see her. This simple gesture, done with sincerity, will earn you lots of time on the couch.

10. Buy covered garbage cans for your kitchen and bathroom. They hide stuff we don't want to know about anyway.

11. Make a list entitled "Intolerable Behavior from Women," and when you see it happening, speak up. Let us know you won't be around no matter what, and we'll want to keep you.

12. Drive a stick shift. Men look ineffectual driving automatics.

13. Never utter the phrase, "I know I'm no Brad Pitt/Denzel Washington." You're a guy. Merely acting like you think you're hot makes you hot. Be grateful, because women actually have to be hot to be hot.

14. Short sleeves are for golf only; sandals are for Jesus only.

15. When a woman asks you to accompany her to a wedding or a family event, R.S.V.P. within 24 hours. If you find that you can't commit, do everyone a favor and break it off.

16. Stop operating on the in-trouble/not-in-trouble paradigm. Just because we're not yelling at you doesn't mean everything is okay.

17. If you're late, call.

18. Brush your teeth a lot.

19. Realize that if you "keep forgetting" to trim your nose hairs, we will "keep forgetting" to initiate sex.

20. If your television is of a size such that it is regularly commented on, hide it in a cabinet. You might have a penchant for a) sloth, b) passivity, or c) tuning out the world, but she need not be reminded of this every time she walks into your living room.

21. You might not know what she wants you to get her for her birthday, but her friends do. Ask them.

22. When we are together, sometimes we are occupied with tasks—closing a window, putting on a new CD, petting the cat—that cause us to focus our gaze elsewhere. May we suggest these windows of time as the most favorable for scratching your balls.

23. Buy a Swiffer and use it. They come in dry (living room) and wet (kitchen and bathroom). Wash your dishes. Pick up your clothes. Swiff. She'll think you're a responsible adult.


41 Ways to Make a Woman Swoon

1. Ask her to dance.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she's coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk toward her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.

6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.

7. Call her when you're feeling sad.

8. Kiss her eyelids.

9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.

10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.

11. If she's crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.

12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and lick between her legs.

13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.

14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.

15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.

17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.

18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.

19. When she's feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.

20. Call her just before you get on the plane.

21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.

22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she's feeling down.

23. Take her to see your favorite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

25. Shave just before you see her. She'll notice.

26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.

27. Worship her breasts.

28. Give her jewelry.

29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

30. Ask her specific questions about her work.

31. Keep her favorite cereal on hand.

32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.

33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.

34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.

35. Moan her name when she goes down on you.

36. Read her a story when it's her turn to drive during a long road trip.

37. Offer to fix something in her apartment that you realize is broken.

38. Notice when she's wearing something new.

39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.

40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.

41. If she's too stressed to want sex . . .
a) Draw a bath for her.
b) Give her a full-body massage.
c) Ask if she wants to wrestle.


Lyrics of the Week

"Do You Remember" by Jack Johnson

Do you remember when we first met? I sure do
It was some time in early September
Though you were lazy about it, you made me wait around
I was so crazy about you, I didn't mind

So I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find, you'd painted flowers on
Guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away
You might not roll back my direction real soon

Well, I was crazy about you then and now
The craziest thing of all, over ten years have gone by
And you're still mine, we're locked in time
Let's rewind

Do you remember when we first moved in together?
The piano took up the living room
You played me boogie-woogie, I played you love songs
You'd say we're playing house, now you still say we are

We built our getaway up in a tree we found
We felt so far away though we were still in town
Now I remember watching that old tree burn down
I took a picture that I don't like to look at

Well all these times they come and go
And alone don't seem so long
Over ten years have gone by
We can't rewind, we're locked in time
But you're still mine
Do you remember?"


"A Plain Morning" by Dashboard Confessional

It's yet to be determined,
but the air is thick,
and my hope is feeling worn.
I'm missing home,
and I'm glad you're not a part of this,
there's parts of me that will be missed.
And the phone is always dead to me,
so I can't tell you the temperature is dropping
and it feels like.

It's colder than it ought to be in March
and I still got a day or two ahead of me
till I'll be heading home,
into your arms again.
And the people here are asking after you.
It doesn't make it easier.
It doesn't make it easier to be away.(to be away)

I'd like to hire a plane.(a plane)
I'd see you in the morning, (morning)
when the day is fresh.
I'm coming home again. (I'm coming home again)
Coming home again. (again)
Coming home again. (again)
When the day is fresh,
I'm coming home again.(I'm coming home again)

But it's warmer where you're waiting.
It feels more like July.
There's pillows in their cases,
and one of those is mine.
And you wrote the words "I love you",
and sprayed it with perfume.
It's better than the fire is
to heat this lonely room.
It's warmer where you're waiting
It feels more like July.
It feels more like July.

It's yet to be determined,
but the air is thick,
and my hope is feeling worn.
I'm missing home,
and I'm glad you're not a part of this,
there's parts of me that will be missed.
And the phone is always dead to me,
so I can't tell you the temperature is dropping
and it feels like.

It's colder than it ought to be in March
and I still got a day or two ahead of me
till I'll be heading home,
into your arms again.
And the people here are asking after you.
It doesn't make it easier. (easier)
It doesn't make it easier to be away.(to be away)

I'd like to hire a plane.(a plane)
I'd see you in the morning, (morning)
when the day is fresh.
I'm coming home again. (I'm coming home again)
Coming home again. (again)
Coming home again. (again)
When the day is fresh,
I'm coming home again.(I'm coming home again)


"The Sharp Hint of New Tears" by Dashboard Confessional

On the way home
This car hears my confessions
I think tonight I'll take the long way
In this weather
The wind outside is biting
It has left me feeling tired and exposed
You've been asking me to bleed
It seems these kinds of questions
They come too easy to you now
Your lack of shame comes naturally
I should not be surprised
I should have seen it sooner

Expect me to apologize
For things that you've done wrong
While you're inciting others
You're owning up to nothing
And I wish that I was gone
Because you're not going anywhere

In this damp air
It’s fighting my defroster
My sighs they ring victorious
And fog this tinted glass
And it’s clouded
And so is my head
The hint of these new tears are sharp
I try to choke them back
But it’s useless
I'm useless against them
They're beating me with ease

On the way home
This car hears my confessions
I think tonight I'll take the long way

Expect me to apologize
For things that you've done wrong
While you're inciting others
You're owning up to nothing
And I wish that I was gone
Because you're not going anywhere

On the way home
This car hears my confessions
I think tonight ill take the long way


"Slow Down" by The Academy Is...

Close the door and take the stairs
Up or down, Ups and downs
Don't pretend you've never been there
You kiss me like an overdramatic actor
Who's starving for work
With one last shot to make it happen

You won the role, you've played your part
You've been cordially invited
But I'm not impressed
And I'm definitely not excited
Cause the film runs a shallow budget
And the writer's subject script isn't any deeper
So dive right in

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
Don't quit 'til 47.
Then we'll turn it up, and we'll play a little faster.

Take back everything you ever said
You never meant a word of it
You never did
Take back everything you said
You never meant a word of it
You never did

She said, 'Alright, alright slow down'
Oh no, oh no we won't
Cause I regret everything that I said
To ever make her feel like she was something special
Or that she ever really mattered
Or did she ever really matter?

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them
I won't buy in
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
Just don't count on this summer
Don't quit 'til 47
Then we'll turn it up and we'll play a little faster

Take back everything you ever said
You never meant a word of it
You never did
Take back everything you said
You never meant a word of it
You never did

I'm not sayin' that I'm not breakin' some hearts tonight, girl
Oh, I'm not sayin' that I'm not breakin' some hearts tonight, girl

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
we will take this time to do many things
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
we will take this time to do many things

Take back everything you ever said
You never meant a word of it
You never did
Take back everything you said
You never meant a god damn word of it
You never did

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them
I won't buy in

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them
I won't buy in


"Even If I Wanted To" by Jason Aldean

I'm on the brink
I can barely think
With all of these thoughts
Running through my head
Wonderin' if I did you wrong
No way, I did you wrong

Every night, I try to justify
All the angry things I said
Oh but I can't take 'em back
No I can't do that
I was wrong, oh but now you're gone

I can't hide what I feel inside
And just stop lovin' you
Even if I wanted to
I can't hold on
But lettin' go
Is something I can't do, is something I can't do
Even if I wanted to

All the times I sat and watched you cry
When I should have held you close
Made sure that you know
How much I cared
But I was never there
I was wrong
And now you've moved on

I can't hide what I feel inside
And just stop lovin' you
Even if I wanted to
I can't hold on
But lettin' go
Is something I can't do, is something I can't do
Even if I wanted to

Even if I wanted to

I can't hide what I feel inside
And just stop lovin' you
Even if I wanted to
I can't hold on
But lettin' go
Is something I can't do, is something I can't do
Even if I wanted to

Even if I wanted to


"You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban

I woke up early this morning around 4 a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along
but that's okay there's nothing left to say but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need um
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left,
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need um
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
But don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So, take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need um
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need um
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we've got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yea

And you're gonna think of me,
Oh someday baby, someday