random

this post is unofficially being brought to you by that one Linkin Park song where one guy raps while the other guy screams..

if i had the choice between sex with all 26 "case girls" on Deal or No Deal or a lifetime supply of strawberry Gushers, it would take me a while to decide..

i can't be the only one aware of the sexual tension between Bert and Ernie, can i?

if Ja Rule was playing a free concert in my backyard, i'd turn out the lights and go to bed..

we've sent people into outer space but we can't make cars that have headlights automatically turn on when your windshield wipers go on? i don't know how many idiots i have to nearly run into because i can't see them when it's raining.. it's not brain surgery..

how many e-mails do i have to get telling me to buy a pill that will increase my penis size? if i'm looking to get into porn, i'll think about it.. on that same topic: one of my roommates while watching a Cialis commercial tonight says, "why do we need a 12 minute commercial for this? just say 'take this, get a boner'".. solid point..

i can't wait to see a kid wearing those "roller sneaker" things roll directly into on-coming traffic..

i'm more likely to call in sick to work if i have painful pimple than if i have the flu..

what is it about bonfires that makes it perfectly acceptable to sit in a circle and stare at the ground for 3 hours? without a fire to look at, it's impossible.. with a fire, it's nearly impossible to leave..

i'd be surprised if more than zero people know how to spell better than whoever wins the National Scripts Spelling Bee, hosted by ESPN and Erin Andrews (thank God)..

on the 1-10 "slut" scale, every girl goes up .5 points with every alcoholic beverage.. on the 1-10 "horny" scale, every guy goes up .5 with every alcoholic beverage.. that can't be a coincidence..

i like how some people who play softball treat it like game 7 of the World Series.. any sport that can be dominated by 275 pound men while drinking beer shouldn't be taken seriously..


watching Sportscenter while typing this, they just had a story similar to the movie "Ladder 49", which i did not cry during, contrary to the reports in the Enquirer.. it was dusty in the room.. anyway, a man was the coach of a high school basketball team as well as a captain of a fire department.. he had coached these kids since 8Th grade and told them then that they could win a state championship by the time they graduated if they worked hard at it.. the summer before their senior year, he responded to a structure fire at a furniture store and was trapped inside.. he called for mayday and said over the radio to tell his wife that he loved her.. this was one day after their one-year wedding anniversary.. getting dusty again.. anyway, he and 8 other firefighters died fighting that fire.. well his basketball team ended up in the championship game where they led by 2 points with 1.7 seconds left.. one player on the team was on the free throw line with a one-and-one opportunity to seal the game.. he missed the first attempt, the other team gets the rebound, the player takes 2 dribbles and heaves a 65-foot shot that goes in and the referees allow.. the players are obviously crushed and hoping the play gets reversed.. the officials gather and without looking at a video replay decide that the shot happened too late and would not count.. i took 15 minutes out of my blogging just enthralled with the story.. super sad but a very cool ending.. not often ESPN gives you that feeling in your throat where you're about to cry..