Monday, February 20, 2012

my kind of crazy..

this post is being co-brought to you by the unpenetrable plastic on CD's and the fact that i've cut myself shaving the last 683 times..

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2) go to www.1037theloon.com
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another quick note: i have created a page on Facebook called "Fluently Sarcastic" to maybe create more awareness about this page and get more viewers.. if you haven't already, feel free to "like" it and share it with people you think may be interested in reading it.. i always enjoy feedback and having new people comment on it, so don't hold back.. also, it's easier for me to post about new blog posts so i don't have to tag everyone in separate status updates..

if you're into romantic things, i highly suggest you go to YouTube when you're done reading this and type in "Brantley Gilbert My Kind of Crazy" (the reason behind the title of this post).. find the video that says "official music video". the song is great, the video is cute (if boys are allowed to say "cute"?) and the girl in the video is also cute with a seemingly fun and flirty personality.. i dig it, you might too..

recently, i've watched a quite a few episodes of "Intervention" on A&E.. i started DVR'ing it after seeing commercials because i like seeing people overcome hard times in their lives and beat the obstacles that are in front of them.. i didn't know that each show would be such an emotional rollercoaster.. i've seen 4 or 5 shows, and it's gotten abnormally dusty in my living room during every one (meaning, i've teared up).. i get so quickly invested in these peoples lives, and after hearing how much it's tearing apart their families, i want so badly for them to agree to get help and turn their lives around.. i know nothing about drug or alcohol addictions personally.. but i know that if it has that strong of a grip on you, that you knowingly and willingly choose those things over your family and being healthy, it's extremely powerful.. which is why you rarely hear the term "beating an addiction".. you could be sober for years but you're still battling every day.. Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers is a good example of that.. he was the #1 overall pick in the Major League Baseball draft in 1999 by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.. i've read his autobiography ("Beyond Belief") and his story is incredible.. i wish i had read it more recently so i could remember more of the details, but he got mixed up in the wrong crowd during his first couple minor league seasons, and first tried cocaine at a tattoo parlor.. he said immediately he knew that wouldn't be the last time he did it.. he got so deep into it that he eventually sold his wife's wedding ring to get more cocaine.. that's the hold it has on you.. during this time, he also became an alcoholic.. Hamilton's story has a somewhat silver lining, in that he was able to stay sober for several years and make it back to Major League Baseball with the Cincinnati Reds in 2007.. eventually he was traded to the Texas Rangers, and became a superstar, winning the Most Valuable Player award in 2010 and leading Texas to two World Series appearances in a row.. he has, however, had two public "slip-ups" regarding alcohol.. in August of 2009, photos were leaked of him in an Arizona bar, and reports said that he was drinking and was overheard asking where he could obtain cocaine.. he was tested for illegal drugs two days after the incident and passed.. and again two weeks ago, it was reported that he had a second slip-up involving alcohol.. he held a press conference the following day to apologize for his actions.. so anyone who is able to to "stave off" their addiction for a long period gets a lot of respect from me.. like Josh Hamilton, a lot of people who get caught up in addictions are good-hearted people but had a tough childhood or got caught up with the wrong group of people and made a few poor decisions.. by that time, it's hooked you..


i recently had a conversation with a friend about my own addiction, which is "negative thinking".. while it's not a substance i put in my body, it's an addiction that i have to work hard at to beat, because it's the root of my anxiety.. if you're bored of me talking about my struggles with it, i understand, you can skip down to the next topic.. but it helps me to talk about it, and even though someone with insecurities and poor self-esteem isn't attractive, it's who i am at this point.. i can't pretend to be someone i'm not; i can't pretend i think i'm God's gift to anybody.. and also, if someone reads this and thinks "i feel the exact same way", that helps them.. it "normalizes" it and makes them feel like they're not alone.. i can't tell you how many books or articles i've read on anxiety, and when i hear something that i can relate to, it helps.. i've gotten a lot better, no doubt, but the times you think you have it beat is when you let your guard down, stop doing the things that help, and it creeps back in.. "normal" people can take criticism and have it roll off their back.. people with anxiety have it stick with them for the rest of the day, if not longer.. they take it personally.. they obsess over every thought, and every thought is negative - i'm not smart enough, attractive enough, rich enough, don't know enough about this topic, etc.. which may be why i've come to enjoy writing so much.. it's the one thing i've been complimented on consistently, and if you hear something enough, you start to believe it.. i'd love to be confident in all aspects of my life: my job, girls, in social situations.. but years of negative thinking has sapped me of confidence..

i'm not going to go over the whole story of why i think i'm like this because if you've read my blog for a long time, it's all been written about and i'd just sound like a broken record.. but here are a few traits that people with anxiety have:

Extremely analytical
Emotionally sensitive
Overreacts
Sensitive to criticism
Low self-image
Need to appear in control at all times
Obsessive thinking
Inner nervousness
High expectations
Worrier
Hypochondriac
Sensitive to negative stimuli
Often, never feels “good enough”
Easily hurt
Prone to guilt
Tend to be a pleaser
Avoids conflict
Overly concerned about others opinions of you
The mind races too fast
A great need for approval
Excessive fear of failure
Excessive fear of health issues
Work very hard to appear together
Second guessing yourself
Worry about being embarrassed

i fit every single one of those categories, in all honesty.. i'm a healthy 28-year-old man, but every new ache or pain makes me think i have some sort of deadly disease.. then i obsess about it and make it worse, because the anxiety is fueling it.. everyone experiences anxiety at one point, but it becomes a "disorder" if it affects your every day life and it makes your decisions for you (i can't go _____, what if i feel anxious?).. and if you haven't experienced it for a lengthy time, you might not understand it.. you might think "why don't you just stop being negative?" if it was only that easy, i'd love to.. i've spent literally thousands of dollars to try to get better - on anxiety/depression programs, books, medication, doctor's visits to tell me that nothing is wrong with me.. before i started having the physical symptoms of anxiety, i wondered how someone can have anxiety too.. why not just stop worrying? if it was only that easy.. i'll beat it, but it'll take a lot of time and effort.. luckily for me, i have a pretty great support system that i'm able to chat with.. my family understands, and if i'm quieter or something on a given day, i feel comfortable telling them that i'm feeling anxious, and they can reassure me that it's just anxiety, and if i underreact to it, it'll go away quicker.. to piggy back on that, that's another reason why it's so hard for me to get close to people.. what if they don't understand me or they think i'm weird or crazy? but it's been said that people with anxiety make great parents, employees, friends, lovers, etc. mostly because of their tendency to be giving and a people-pleaser.. if you combine my anxiety with the fact that i'm a Cancer, man, my future wife is going to be a lucky gal..

if you have someone in your life who suffers from anxiety, depression or both (75% of people who have anxiety also have some level of depression), here are some guidelines for you to help them through it:

Things you should do:

1. Praise often. For even the smallest successes. Your encouragement is extremely important. Praise the participant for even trying.

2. Encourage his/her independence. Let them "go it alone" whenever and wherever possible, but only if he/she is ready.

3. Compliment the participant for his/her progress as far as attitude is concerned. He/she is the last one to notice how they are changing for the positive. Be sure you point it out.

4. If he/she wants you to go along as they practice his/her avoidance situations - such as driving, shopping, etc. - go with them. But allow him/her some distance, all the while letting him/her know you are there to assist and support them.

5. If you are in a situation where the anxious partner begins to feel panicky and anxious, try to help him/her by reassuring them that it is just anxiety. Remind him/her that they are not dying, going crazy or having a heart attack. Reassure him/her that there is no reason to run. There is no safe place. Then distract him/her by showing things to them, using humor or talking about something that they are interested in. Let him/her know that they will be okay, but do not make a big deal out of the fear and panic.

6. Let your anxious partner have a big hand in the decision-making process - where you are going, how long you will stay and how you will get there and back. Let your partner feel like he/she is in control of the situation to some extent. He/she will be more comfortable and probably stay longer.

7. If your anxious partner feels discouraged or depressed about his/her progress, give them reassurance that they are doing well.

8. STAY POSITIVE.


Things you should NOT do:

1. Do not make fun of this condition. Never be sarcastic about it.

2. Do not monitor his/her progress by constantly asking how he/she is doing or saying, "Shouldn't you be doing this or that by now?" This will only make him/her feel like they are not living up to your expectations. It will make the participant very anxious.

3. Do not tell other people about his/her condition. If they want someone to know about it, it is their right to tell them.

4. Do not baby him/her. Be supportive and compassionate.

5. Do not get angry over his/her fears and attacks. He/she really cannot help it when they feel this way. The longer you treat him/her badly or make them feel guilty, the longer it will last.

6. If he/she is having a panic attack while you are with him/her, do not suggest leaving, going home or to the hospital. Distract them as mentioned early.

7. Don't be too concerned if he/she seems to change into someone who seems a little angry or selfish at first. That will change. It's just that he/she realizes for the first time that he/she is allowed to be angry and selfish at times and people will still love him/her. He/she will find a happy medium eventually. Praise your partner for being assertive.


Valentine's Day is fine, but like a lot of people, i hate that it singles out one day that you're supposed to be romantic.. as a "romantic" guy, when i find that special gal, i'm going to write silly notes to her on a random Monday morning, or take her out on a non-descript Thursday to show her off, or make it all about her in the bedroom for a few days.. i don't need to buy a card or send her flowers in front of her coworkers so she can feel "loved" or "special" in front of them.. i'll show her every day how i feel, then she can go tell people about it..

first Twins game is in 46 games.. not sure what i'm more excited about: the start of baseball season or the start of sundress season..

if a father and son are playing baseball together but no one is taping it, does the son still hit a scorching line-drive off dad's beanbag?

according to Men's Health, the text that both men and women want to receive most is "thinking of you"..


in my opinion, the things that a relationship needs most to be successful are: trust, communication, laughter, independence, compromise and the ability to be vulnerable.. the vulnerability one is probably the only one that isn't completely cliche', but to me, there's not a whole lot sexier than knowing someone is comfortable enough around you and trusts you enough to let their guard down.. that's hard to do, especially with someone you haven't known for a long time.. the last girl i "dated" (Mondale was president) would comment regularly about how she didn't want to be vulnerable because it wasn't her personality, but there was "something about me" (her exact words) that made her want to tell me things, and that she fully trusted me.. there aren't many things that are a greater compliment than that.. and i still have secrets she told me.. trust is earned..


the difference between Adele's and Chris Brown's performances at the Grammy's can be summed up with this: if you have a great voice and song, you don't need 30 idiots doing backflips behind you to entertain people..

speaking of that, music is my escape from all of the bullshit in the world..

when you "like" someone's picture on Facebook, a small part of you expects them at your door in a half hour demanding sex.. right?

love the people God gave you.. He's going to need them back one day..

since WWE Raw is in Minneapolis tonight, i'm reminded of the time my mom brought me to a WWF event at St. Cloud State when i was little.. at one point, i had to pee and i walked right into the WWF tag team champions: Demolition.. they were heels (bad guys) at the time, and i was terrified.. i honestly think i turned around and ran back to my mom.. maybe that's where my anxiety started? i was probably 5 or 6 years old, and they looked like this:


the Rocori Alumni basketball tournament was this past weekend, and it's always one of my favorite weekends of the year.. when i was little, my brothers would come back for it and i didn't get to see them very often.. my brother Bryan graduated in 1988, and they went 26-0 his senior year and won the state championship.. then they won the Alumni tournament the first 5 or 6 years they were all together for it.. i thought they were unbeatable.. i remember calling my mom at work the first time they lost and she was stunned.. the tradition for our grade now is to get all our guys together and have some drinks the Friday night before the tournament.. it's amazing how those gatherings have changed.. 5 years ago, we were dragging each other out of Friends Bar in Waite Park.. this past Friday, we had a house full of wives and babies and the "party" was over by 11:00 p.m.. regarding the tournament itself, no matter how "in shape" you think you are coming into it, you're going to feel like you got ran over by a moose for a week afterwards.. that's how competitive it is, and it's a product of Rocori's basketball system.. everyone wants to win, even if you haven't touched a basketball since last year.. but it's always a blast getting together with the guys every year, those 5 months that made our senior basketball season are still very memorable.. here are a few pictures related to these events:

my brother's mullet in the state tournament championship game

me and my brother when he played for St. Cloud State. he brought the mullet with, and the ball-hugging shorts

me giving one of my boys a piggy back ride to the pool at the state tournament.. just to prove how much those relationships stick, i was a groomsman in his wedding, and rocked his newborn son to sleep on Friday night.. neither of us cried or shit our pants, so it was a good experience..

me and another groomsman at that wedding.. thug life.. this picture is on their kitchen windowsill, by the way..


a few Cancer zodiac sign-related Tweets i've seen on Twitter, to get a better handle on why i am like i am: (i promise i wouldn't be so into these things if i didn't relate to nearly every one of them..)

"Don't talk to an attractive person in front of your Cancer date. They will get suspicious because they are not very secure or confident."

"Family is one of Cancer's great interests and concerns in life, whether the connection is positive or negative."

"It's hard to get close to a Cancer, they require a deep emotional connection."

"Cancer is very giving with those they are close with."

"When Cancer opens up, they give all they have."

"Cancer's are receptive, sensitive and defensive."

"Not many people will win the heart of a Cancer."

"Cancer men love their mother, so try to be his mothers favorite, but do not act like his mother."

"A Cancer is able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations."

"Cancer's hate to see pain and suffering in others."

"The challenge for a Cancer is to find a way to nurture themself rather than rely on emotional support from others."

"Cancer's prefer to focus their energies on a small number of close friends rather than a large number of acquaintances."

"Cancer's control the love in a relationship. It's up to them whether you feel it or not."

"Moving on after a breakup is usually a tough task for a Cancer because they put all of their feelings into relationships."

"Cancer's usually attach to their mothers and have a very close bond with them, especially male Cancer's."

"If a Cancer likes you as a person, they will make you feel like family, not just a friend."

"Cancer's can be mild or wild, depending on the moment and who they're with."

"If you can make a Cancer laugh, you becoming very attractive to them."

"Cancer's remember everything."


i'm reading a book called "The True Measure of a Man: How Perceptions of Success, Achievements and Recognition Fail Men in Difficult Times" by Richard E. Simmons III.. the idea behind this book is that most males measure their worth by the wrong things.. as a child, we measure our worth on the playground: the boys who were faster or could catch better were elevated in status.. as teenagers, boys think they are measured by how well they relate to and attract the opposite sex.. as men, they think their worth is measured by how well we do at our jobs: our job title, how many people we manage, how much money we have, etc.. all those things are fine, they they shouldn't define our worth.. character, wisdom and love make up the essense of what it means to be an authentic man..

Character - there is a relationship between our character and our reputation.. we so easily become consumed with what others think of us, we get caught up in image-making, impression others and winning approval.. in doing so, we compromise ourselves and our reputation suffers..if the focus of our lives is developing our character, our reputation will take care of itself..

Wisdom - wisom is the skill to see things as they really are and not just as they appear to be.. the quantity of what we know is not of ultimate importance, the quality is.. wisdom is knowing how things really work and knowing why things happen and knowing what to do about it..

Love, Compassion and Quality Relationships - the true mark of a man is found in the quality of his relationships - the capacity you have to love and be loved.. when you look at your life at the end of it, the only thing that is really going to matter is the relationships you have had.. it's sad but most men over 35 have no "authentic" friends - someone close to them that they can be vulnerable with (there's that word again) and share their innermost thoughts and feelings.. it's hard for men to do that because we're always competing with and comparing ourselves to other men..

the following article was posted on Facebook about a month ago and i really enjoyed it.. the website can be found at this address: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/03/12-things-every-guy-should-master-to-become-a-real-man/


How To Be Manly

"I do feel that it’s an interesting and challenging topic. The bottom line is very simple. To be a man we have to be a mature version of a person with a Y chromosome. And everything we don’t develop doesn’t mature. Our physical development takes care of itself more or less. We just need to keep eating, sleeping, drinking and breathing (although it helps tremendous if we do that properly). But if we don’t take care of our psychological, intellectual, emotional and spiritual development these aspects remain underdeveloped and therefore immature. You can do the quick scan right now: if you are a man and haven’t been taking care of one or more of these terrains you can be sure that the corresponding side of you is immature.

Anyway, let’s get started. There is no particular order nor am I having pretenses about it being complete. On second thought and more honest: I think it’s pretty complete but I was just acting humble. This is a list of features I honestly feel a mature man must own, be or do:

1. Be fearless
Being fearless does not mean being without fear, being fearless means admitting your fears and going beyond them. A real man is not in denial of his fears, holding up a mask of invulnerability but is willing to face his fears and work on them. He has the courage to do things that frighten him when the situation calls for it. A real man knows that the path towards fearlessness is endless.

2. Be resilient
A man should be flexible and reliable at the same time. If necessary he can start all over again at any given moment. Whatever happens; his house was burnt down, his crop failed, he lost his job, his wife had a miscarriage: even if he has mourning to do he starts all over again. A real man accepts his fate but doesn’t become a victim of it.

3. Live, speak and listen from the heart
A real man doesn’t hide his feelings and intentions. He is not afraid to be gentle nor afraid to be sad. He is in touch with his emotions and is able to express them. He has the courage to live his dream and the space to listen compassionately.

4. Own your anger
A real man owns his anger. His anger has transformed into masculine compassion. He can be angry, strong, decisive and courageous. His anger serves his presence and the presence of others. It is not a humiliating or destructive type of anger. The latter happens when a man is a slave of his anger, that’s the anger of the coward trying to overcompensate his feelings of inferiority. This is just as sad as a man completely disconnected from his anger. He becomes emasculated and has no power at all. Other men don’t take him seriously. Women can smell immature anger and emasculatedness from a mile away and don’t find it sexy. Mature anger, on the other hand, is a big turn on.

5. Make meaning
Try not to become a man of success, try to become a man of value. Einstein said that. I think that’s true and important. If you fill your days with doing something that pays the bills but is essentially meaningless you are wasting your precious life. Yes, even if it pays the bills so handsomely that you can spend 2 months per year on adventurous holidays and eat in fancy restaurants, you are still wasting your life. A real man has the balls to travel outside his comfort zone to make a sincere attempt to contribute to mankind. He works for the greater good instead of for the sake of protection of his self image and clinging to the illusion of safety.

6. Own your edge
This life is a journey and we all are somewhere on our path. A real man is honest about where he is at in his development. He doesn’t pretend to be wiser or more evolved than he actually is nor does he shrink so that others won’t feel insecure around him. He knows his strengths and his weaknesses and not ashamed of either. That there is always work to do is a given to him. He knows where he has his work to do and is willing to listen and learn from those who have done that work.

7. Be vulnerable
A coward is always trying to hide his weak spots, a real man works on them. He is willing and able to reveal himself even in the midst of pain. He is vulnerable because he wants to be vulnerable. By opening up in every moment he is continuously practicing his courage. It’s his way of defeating his own cowardice.

8. Make love passionately
A real man does not hold back. When he makes love he opens up to all his rawness and all his tenderness and he gives his woman everything he has got. He does not shy away from intimacy. He can penetrate his woman so hard and deeply that she can feel that he is entering her soul. He aims for her heart. He makes her feel like a princess and a porn star simultaneously.

9. Practice a martial art
When push comes to shove every man should be able to defend his wife, children and honor. Just like we teach our children to swim to prevent them from drowning a man should know at least enough basic fighting skills so he can throw a punch in case of an emergency. A real man has spent enough time in a ring or dojo to ensure a deescalating presence. He does not panic, is not easily provoked and has some strength and skills.

10. Have a sense of humor (don’t take yourself so fucking seriously
A real man can hold both the utter importance and the utter unimportance of life at the same time. He can see his own failures and flaws and joke about that. Since he knows his self image is just an image he feels no need to defend that image. He can uplift a tense situation with a joke but he isn’t the immature joker that abuses humor as a tool for escaping intimacy or sabotaging intensity. A real man has the capacity to light up the room. A real man embraces life.

11. Develop body, mind and spirit
A real man is devoted to the development of body, mind and spirit. Not to stay ahead of other men, not out of fear of being defeated, but because he has more to offer when he is healthy and present. Taking care of his body makes him fit and strong, taking care of his mind makes him clever and sharp, taking care of his spirit makes him wise, warm and compassionate. A real man knows that his body and mind are mortal but that the love he spreads during his life remains.

12. Be real
In the end a real man knows that he is just a guy. He does all these things because that’s what he is: a man. He likes hanging out with other men, he might drink beer during football, he loves his woman and he works wholeheartedly. Basically, he is just trying to do his best to make the most of life and is having some fun while doing that. His sweat is honest, his heart is open and his back is straight."



36 Ways to Get That Girl - Men's Health

Employ the two-kiss strategy.
The first one is to gauge my interest; keep it short and sweet. If I pull back, then it's not time yet--no harm, no foul. But if I linger close, waiting for more, you have the all-clear. Now kiss me in a way that will change my life.

You came to this place to hang out with your friends...
We met. Now I'm one of your friends. Keep this vibe in mind; it will give me time to decide if I want to be something more.

Offer to cook.
I'll really be impressed if you can teach me something in the kitchen I haven't seen yet.

Watch The Notebook.
So you can understand my references to The Notebook. These things matter.

I like it when you stare, especially if I'm naked.
It makes me feel dirty. In a good way.

Talk less. Kiss more.
It's counterintuitive; I love to talk. But I need a break from hearing my own voice.

I'm pretty sure you still have cell reception on your business trip.
If you don't check in at least once, I'll assume you're doing something you shouldn't be.

Do good deeds for strangers.
When you forgive a server's mistake, smile at a tired bank teller, or offer your train seat to a pregnant woman, you become an instant alpha male in my eyes.

Don't be afraid to wear your glasses.
It makes role-playing that much easier when you're already wearing part of the shy-accountant costume.

If you ever meet my ex, act civilized.
I traded him for an upgrade, and I don't want to be proved wrong.

Listening is to women what oral sex is to men: Proof that you really care.
Remember my favorite ice cream flavor, my childhood best friend's name, where my little brother goes to college--even if you have to take notes.

Texting is great for flirting, but...
when it comes time to ask me out, I need to hear your voice. No emoticons allowed.

Don't sit on anything while you're naked.
It kind of grosses me out.

Share a secret that shows me your sensitive side......
even if you have to embellish your discomfort in confessing. That mild embarrassment only endears you to me. "Don't tell my guy friends," you'll whisper, "but I really liked The Notebook."

At a restaurant, give me the seat with the view.
I sit facing the action, you sit facing me. Get it? There's no reason for you to be looking anywhere else.

Plan a surprise party for me. At least once.
Make it a big deal. Invite all my friends. That's why Facebook was invented anyway.

Bring me something from your next trip.
Just one small thing. I'll keep it forever.

If you have something beautiful delivered to my office......
I will sext you.

Give the perfect hug.
It lasts about 3 seconds longer than you think it should. Embrace me.

Tell me your 5-year plan.
Don't have one? Maybe it's time to make one. I feel more confident about a man who prepares for the future but lives for the moment. Your plan doesn't have to involve me right now, but it should have some room for me to imagine squeezing myself in.

Six magic words:"I can't wait to see you."
If you're excited, I'm excited. And if I'm already excited, that's less work for you in the long run.

The faster you can catch a bartender's attention......
the more respect I have for you.

Don't tell me I look like someone famous.
Chances are I've already heard it. If you want to impress me, compare me to someone obscure but beautiful--"Wow, you remind me of Emilia Clarke." Now I have to engage you in conversation: "Who's that?" (Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones.) Or I'll Google her at work and then glow all day. Either way you win.

Buy better boxers.
You should really spend more money on your underwear.

I check your Facebook wall......
every day to see who else is flirting with you, and whether you've changed your relationship status.

Do nice stuff for me in front of my friends.
It makes it harder for them to talk smack about you when you leave.

Sometimes I feel as if I have multiple personalities.
Adjust yours accordingly.

You love receiving oral sex no matter what.
I love receiving oral sex, but only when I can actually relax and not worry if your jaw is tired, or if I taste weird, or if you're really enjoying it. So even when my pants are off, you still have to keep seducing me. Tell me you like what I've done with the place. And then prove it.

Let's do something out of the ordinary.
If my first date with you is the last first date I ever have, it had better stand out.

I like the thought of grabbing your tie and pulling you in for a kiss.
And just watching you open your top button and loosen that tie puts me in the mood. I don't care if you work in a casual office. Wear one occasionally.

If you notice that my boots need reheeling......
that my closet door squeaks, or that my watch needs a new battery, take care of it--without being asked. Your fixing something is like my initiating sex; it makes both of our lives a whole lot easier.

Write a song for me......
and you've got a card you can play for the rest of my life. "I wrote a song for you, honey." Game over.

A fallback compliment that always makes me smile?
"I'm so lucky to have you." It seems authentic because you're talking about your own feelings.

If you're lousy on the dance floor......
I'll assume you're lousy in bed. So fix that. You don't have to be Justin Timberlake to do it right; slow, controlled, and rhythmic is just fine. If you're self-conscious about your dancing, ask a female friend to help you with the basics.

Would you move into a new house without exploring every room?
My body is that house; you don't know me until you've kissed every inch of me.

All single women fear being used for sex.
So reassure me with a simple "You're great. You know that?" (If it's delivered within an hour of orgasm, it doesn't count.)



Brantley Gilbert - "My Kind of Crazy" lyrics

She says, “Look, baby, I’m a rock star”
Grabs my old guitar
Playing it upside down
Dancing ’round in front of our TV

I can’t see the ballgame
So I just wave my lighter and say
“Yeah, rock on, baby
I’d rather watch you anyway”

“But when you’re done, can I come backstage
And get you to sign your name
On that Zeppelin shirt of mine you’re wearing?
I’ll never wash that thing again”

Yeah, and she’s my kind of crazy
The little games she plays
Lord, they never get old
She’s too cute to get on my last nerve

The way she throws her little fits
Poking out her lip, biting mine when we kiss
There ain’t a fight that she can’t win
That’s my baby, and she’s my kind of crazy

You ought to see her in my pickup
Oh, she’s gotta have that radio up
Bless her heart, she can’t sit still
Head in my lap, bare feet on the windshield

Says, “Come on, baby, let me drive”
Now honey, it’s a stick shift
Remember what you did last time, oh

Yeah, and she’s my kind of crazy
The little games she plays
Lord, they never get old
She’s too cute to get on my last nerve

The way she throws her little fits
Poking out her lip, biting mine when we kiss
There ain’t a fight that she can’t win
That’s my baby, and she’s my kind of crazy

She never lets me rest, she keeps me up all night
Known to roll me off the bed, steal the covers off my side
But I hear her wake up, sleepy head
And I open up my eyes and it’s all worth the while

Yeah, and she’s my kind of crazy
The little games she plays
Lord, they never get old
She’s too cute to get on my last nerve

The way she throws her little fits
Poking out her lip, biting mine when we kiss
There ain’t a fight that she can’t win
That’s my baby, and she’s my kind of crazy

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