this post is being co-brought to you by the guys who played some wind instrument and a tambourine in their offices today at work and the heater in my hotel room that makes popping noises similar to curtains being on fire..
before i start, i posted three different Men's Health articles/lists last night.. they're right below this post.. check 'em out..
watching "American Idol" in hotels is quickly becoming an annual event for me.. last year i was in Boston at the time of the season premiere, this year i'm in Chicago.. i love the tryout episodes where all the terrible singers come on and act like they're good but it's almost to the point where i think many of them are staged.. you can't sing that badly and legitimately think you're good enough to beat out thousands of other people.. if your family loved you, they'd tell you that.. case in point: last night, a girl came on and sang off-key and out of tune and did some gyrations that made me uncomfortable, and she was stunned when the judges said she was no good.. the new smoking hot judge (who's quickly becoming my soulmate, by the way) even asked her if it was a joke because she was voted "Most Humorous" in high school.. which caused her to cry.. and yes, it was humorous.. Simon compared her to a donkey.. harsh, but i saw how he got there.. when she left the room, she was consoled by her mom, then started singing again to the camera with mom dancing next to her like she wasn't fat.. then mom said "this is the next American Idol right here".. well, actually all four judges just said she can't sing and one compared her to a donkey.. i don't like her chances..
something else i've noticed from the show is that the people who can sing seem immensely cooler than the ones who can't.. i wonder if there's a connection here? i'd compare the bad singers to ugly girls.. both think they're better than they really are and can't get it through their head that everyone else in the world thinks differently.. and good singers have a casual, nonchalant way about themselves and seem surprised when the judges tell them they can sing.. kinda like attractive girls who don't believe you when you tell them that.. nevertheless, i look forward to "American Idol" Season 9 from somewhere in Delaware..
on the topic of music, i've been in Chicago four nights and i've woke up in the middle of the night with song ideas on two of them.. very weird for me.. lately, when i'm home, i've been trying to practice the guitar an hour every night so maybe my brain is just on music lately.. i also read an interview with Jack Johnson that said he does his best writing late at night after his kids go to bed.. being able to write songs is something i've always thought would be cool but obviously you have to have a knowledge of what chords sound good with other chords and how to get the right pattern, so basically it's just poems waiting for music at this point.. it's going to take me a long time to actually be good at playing, and i've never been good at singing but i'm not easily embarrassed and i'd only play at parties where people are drunk and won't care anyway..
i'll pay someone $3 million to teach me how to order food at a Mexican restaurant.. everything is in Spanish.. yes, i know what tacos, quesadillas, burritos, etc. are.. but what's with all the extra foreign words in the description? i'm almost positive everything has the same ingredients, it's just wrapped a different way.. and you can't just go to a restaurant and get a taco.. that's like going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from the girl you went to high school with, just because it's familiar, tastes good and seems to have had a breast enhancement..
the hotel i'm at has strategically placed mirrors all over the place.. a giant one sits over the sink, conveniently at the foot of the bed.. a full-length mirror is on the OUTSIDE of the bathroom door.. the entire elevator is a mirror.. these people are asking for sex in there.. where's the mirror on the ceiling over the bed for Christ's sake? or the sex swing? i should take the fox i saw in the fitness room into the elevator and press the button for every floor.. also, i've found that i can do things differently in a hotel than i can at home.. the other night, i did push ups in my underwear in the living room.. i've showered with the door open, mainly to watch "American Idol" on Tuesday night.. a few months ago, the lock on our upstairs bathroom was broken so we tore the entire knob off.. needless to say, when i'd go in to shower, one of my roommates would come in and toss an entire pot full of ice water on me.. not an issue in the hotel.. it's kinda lonely on the giant bed though.. wish i had my body pillow.. or a gal, i guess?
i'm happy to see the FinallyFast.com commercial isn't limited to Minnesota.. you know the one, some bitch can't get into her email because "it's not loading".. you know why it's not loading? cause you're not using a real fucking computer.. then some clown in a fluorescent green and white striped sweatshirt says "my computers fast! finally! FinallyFast.com!!", hoping he nails it in one take so he can get to his night job at TGI Fridays.. how can a commercial that obviously cost $45 to make be aired every 15 minutes? sounds shady if you ask me..
i learned from the Jenna Jameson E! True Hollywood Story that she battled a drug addiction and her parents had divorced when she was young.. in news equally as breaking, JFK was shot..
as i grow older, the less and less i like blondes and the more and more fascinated i become with brunettes.. but lets be honest, i'm in no position to be judgemental..
that being said, just had this text conversation with my sister:
her: pretty sure you would nail my teacher. she is a hot little blonde.
me: ask her if she likes guys who can't grow facial hair and listen to Taylor Swift when they work out.
her: oh yeah, she's married and has a kid.
me: tell her i think we should see other people.
speaking of my sister, i got a phone call from her on Tuesday night while at a steak restaurant.. first i'll tell the steak restaurant story: my co-workers and i had been told about a good steak place by our boss in Minnesota, so with the help of a GPS, we went looking for it.. i noticed the building as we drove by but all the lights were off and it's clearly shut down.. we want steak, so we look in the GPS for another steak restaurant and find a place called "The Flame" and go there.. we immediately notice the valet parking.. as we're walking in, the owner of the GPS realizes that there are four "$" symbols, meaning it's extremely high class.. good to know as i walk in with my baseball cap and Twins hooded sweatshirt in White Sox country.. felt very out of place.. the steaks were very expensive but probably because one of the Golden Girls was our waitress and it was paying her appearance fee.. anyway, i'm mid-steak when my sister calls me and asks me when i'm coming home.. i tell her February 5th.. she asks me if i have to go back to Chicago after that or if i was done.. at this point i think there was a death in the family and i'm needed at home.. nope, it was worse.. she wants me to run in a 10K on the 21st of February.. she runs every morning at the gym before work, i can barely get myself to the gym twice a week.. she recruited me for a 5K in the fall, i ran twice to prepare myself and nearly collapsed halfway through it while (seriously) being passed by a man pushing a stroller.. this time i'll prepare better but the cold weather is going to kill my lungs.. i just hope i finish and don't vomit.. it's for charity, so i'm doing it regardless.. AND for the half-marathon relay in April, which she also tricked me into.. never thought i'd turn into a runner..
there's this girl that i occasionally text and get made fun of for.. it's not anything "romantic" or anything but you know how guys get.. so today, i get a text from a friend who asks me if i've talked to her lately and i said a little bit, which clearly excites him.. i've explained to him that i don't want to do stuff with her and he implies that i wouldn't have to be the one who does, i just have to get her out with us.. meanwhile, this guy has a girlfriend.. so i alert him of this fact: "you have a girlfriend".. "quit swearing", he says.. so classic.. i'd take one girl at this point, much less multiple.. guess i was wired differently than normal boys..
Lyrics of the Week
"Always The Love Songs" by the Eli Young Band
Used to pull off highway 249
Had a cool little place
Where we'd go hide on Friday night
And get away from the city lights
Find a little wood and build a fire
Somebody'd always bring a couple guitars
And we'd take turns
Singing songs and watching it burn
We'd do rambling man,
Proud Mary, and American band
We'd be singing at the top of our lungs
It was always the love songs every time
Made everybody feel something inside
With the fire down low
You held your girl real close
Made you wanna love the one you were with
Gave you the courage in that first kiss
It was the love songs
Always the love songs
It was always the line
Stuck in your head
That would sit in and wait
Wish you could have said
But you both knew
They were singing it right to you
It felt so good those times you
The feeling of wanting somebody so bad
Made you weak in the heart
You couldn't take being apart
Honky-tonk drinkin songs
We cold do them all night long
But the ones i remember most
It was always the love songs every time
Made everybody feel something inside
With the fire down low
You held your girl real close
Made you want to love the one you were with
Gave you the courage in that first kiss
It was the love songs
Always the love songs
We'd be singing at the top of our lungs
It was always the love songs every time
Made everybody feel something inside
With the fire down low
You held your girl real close
Made you wanna love the one you were with
Gave you the courage in that first kiss
It was the love songs
Always the love songs
Always the love songs
Always the love songs
"Rapid Hope Loss" by Dashboard Confessional
You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out.
Well, thanks for waiting this long to show yourself.
Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.
You called to say you wanted out.
Well, I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you've got to fall
before you're found out.
Well thanks, thanks for waiting this long to show yourself, show yourself.
Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna give,
so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna give,
so much for, so much more
Do what you must if that's what you wish,
I can't be a party to this
you have a sense that you were born with
You'll find a way to make things right.
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna give.
so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna give.
so much for, so much more
I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna give.
so much for, so much more
"It Ain't Me" by the Warren Brothers
You’re Daddy’s little girl
Born with a silver spoon
I could tell somebody told you
you hung the moon
You look so good I had to look the other way
You need a man that’ll do everything you say
I know baby what you need
I know baby what you need
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
It ain’t me
At first you were different
Actin’ like the shy type
You blew it baby you blamed it on the wine
I should have known that was the beginning of the end
But I took you back baby you did it all over again
I know baby what you need
I know baby what you need
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
It ain’t me
You don’t think I’d leave you standing in the rain
Girl you think my love for you it’ll never change
Oh, no, no, no
It used to be enough drinkin’ from your lovin’ cup
But tonight it’s really over
So shut up and get out of my truck
I know baby what you need
I know baby what you need
I know ba-ba-ba-baby what you need
Yeah I know baby what you need
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, yeah
It ain’t me
"Runnin' Out of Heroes" by the Warren Brothers
Gotham heard the news today
Batman up and moved away
He said he couldn’t bare to stay
In a lonely cave no more
The Daily Planet pitted Lois Lane
Had to get an order to restrain
Less than Superman who went insane
When she said she needed more
Walked right out the door
I guess I really need
Something I can see, something I can hold
Someone to hold me
I’m sorry if it scares you
That I need to be rescued
But you’re my only hope
‘Cause I’m runnin’ out of heroes
Always thought that I could be John Wayne
Come sunset I’d sweep you away
But I don’t feel much like him today
I can’t fake it anymore
The way I did before
I guess I really need
Something I can see, something I can hold
Someone to hold me
I guess I’m trying to say
You’re the only way
You’re the only one
Who could come and save the day
I’m sorry if it scares you
That I need to be rescued
But you’re my only hope
‘Cause I’m runnin’ out of heroes
Runnin’ out of heroes
"One I Can't Live Without" by the Warren Brothers
Yes I've been with someone new
She's a good woman too
But she can't compare to you
The more time that I spend with her
The more I see what it's about
She's someone I can live with
but you're the one that
I can't live without
She has brown eyes like you
Picks me up when I'm feelin' blue
Showers me with her love
But somehow it's not enough
I know we said it's over
But I just can't let you go
'cause no one compares to you
The more time that I spend with her
The more I see what it's about
She's someone I can live with
You're the one that I can't live without
You're the one that I can't live without
I can't live without you
I can't live without you
"Move On" by the Warren Brothers
We’re wastin’ all our time and energy it seems
To mend our broken hearts as if they were machines
There ain’t a tool around that could make us tight
Hell I don’t know where all the good times went
Had a pocket full of love now there ain’t nothin’ left but lint
A handful of good times don’t make it right
So move on
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
Come on
Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don’t fit
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
So move on
You’ve got to be you and baby I’ve got to be me
And I don’t wanna stay just because I don’t wanna leave
I got one foot out the door
I got one foot in my mouth
We’re always sayin’ things that we don’t really mean
Like I love you and I’ll be with you for all eternity
We don’t have that long to work this out
So move on
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
Come on
Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don’t fit
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
And I tried to find the answers
And I’ve read all the books
Watched all the daytime shows
Sometimes we’re the victims
Sometimes we’re the crooks
That’s just the way it goes
Oh, yeah
So move on
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
Come on
Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don’t fit
There ain’t nothing you can do
So move on
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
Come on
Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don’t fit
There ain’t nothing you can do about it
Move on
Move on
Just move on
"Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift
Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a lot in you
As we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen anyone shine the way you do
They you walk, the way you walk, the way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
They're dimming the street lights
You're perfect for me why aren't you here tonight?
I'm waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine
Hey Stephen I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
Myself, can't help myself
I can't help myself
"That's The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift
He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
"Beautiful Eyes" by Taylor Swift
Your beautiful eyes
Stare right into my eyes
and sometimes I think of you late at night
I don't know why
i want to be somewhere where you are
I want to be where...
You're here, You're eyes are looking into mine
So baby, make me fly
My heart has never felt this way before
I'm looking through your
I'm looking through your eyes
I wake up, I'm alive
In only a little while...I cry
Cause you're my lullaby
SO baby come hold me tight cause I-I
I want to be eberything you need
I want to be where...
Just as long as you're mine
I'll be you're everything tonight
Let me love you, kiss you
Oh baby let me miss you
Let me see your
Dream about
Dream about
Dream about your eyes
Eyes, Eyes...Beautiful eyes
"Your Anything" by Taylor Swift
I bet you lie awake at night
Trying to make up your sweet mind
Wondering if you'll ever find
Just what you want
A home-town number one
Or a California loaded gun
But you know you only get one
Or that's what you thought
But here's what you've got
I could be your favorite blue jeans
With the holes in the knees
In the bottom of the top drawer
I could be your little beauty queen
Just a little outta reach
Or the girl living next door
I'll be your angel giving up her wings
If that's what you need
I'd give everything to be your anything
If you want hard to get
If you want...
All you have to do is let me know
If you want a bumpy ride
Or someone with a softer side
Either one'll be alright
Just let me know
Cause this is where it goes
It's not like I'm giving up who I am for you
but for someone like you it's just so easy to do
I could be your favorite blue jeans
With the holes in the knees
In the bottom of the top drawer
I could be your little beauty queen
Just a little outta reach
Or the girl living next door
I'll be your angel giving up her wings
If that's what you need
If that's what you need
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