i'm a man, sue me..

one of my roommates bought Grand Theft Auto 4 last night and only planned on playing for a half hour or so.. i ended up watching him play for 3 hours.. a few of the things that happened: he drove over several pedestrians, sped consistently in front of police officers, beat up homeless men, joined in a high speed chase, crashed several cars and was thrown through the windshield.. the reason i stayed awake so long is that he was dating this chick and at the end of every date you had the choice to "try your luck" or "say goodnight".. being the proud owners of 4 combined testicles we obviously tried our luck.. he struck out on the first two dates (one of which ended with him driving her home drunk) but at the end of the third date, she invited him into her place and proceeded to make porn sounds for a few seconds.. hey, he flew through a windshield earlier in the night, he's allowed to not have his "A-game" once.. the point of the story is that i stayed up way too long hoping for video game sex and i'm not remotely phased nor embarrassed by it at all, because i'm a guy..

one of my all-time favorite TV shows is "To Catch A Predator".. the best is when Chris Hansen first confronts these perverts and they say they "didn't do anything" or "only came to see if she was okay" or "came to babysit".. oh really? with a 6-pack of wine coolers, condoms and porn DVDs? great idea.. at least two guys have came in and immediately got buck ass naked like it was an everyday activity for them.. then Hansen reads off the one-thousand page transcript of the instant messages, saying things like "you say you want to (blank) her in the (blank)" as monotone as possible.. and when the pervert finally gives up, they'll say something like "am i going to be arrested?" Hansen always says "that's not up to me" but you know he wants to say "hell yeah, you're gonna be arrested, you sent her a picture of your junk.. but first the policemen want to pile drive you on the cement when you walk out".. i'd be fine with these psychotic individuals getting the death penalty but it's usually a 10-year jail sentence or less.. that's our country.. God Bless America..